4 stars based on
Summer parenting changes as the years pass. I guess it goes along with the changes in our kids from year to year. The parents who provide the summer care and activities? Anyway, these are my observations of summer parenting. Every day is a new adventure. You take no chances. You watch with joy as your little kraken bottle crafts learns to run barefoot in grass, and you take beautiful photos that you have kraken bottle crafts and hang on the walls. You eat fresh, organic, locally-grown fruit and vegetables, and you raise a couple of chickens in the yard, so that you have fresh eggs.
You savor the flavors and laugh with joy as your little one becomes a sticky mess as he delights in the new foods. You drink lots of purified water that you run through a charcoal filter just to be sure and make kraken bottle crafts, organic, usweetened fruit juices in kraken bottle crafts Breville Juicer.
You make summer with a little one look so amazing that your friends have their IUDs remove and hope for twins. Hands down, summer is your favoritest season ever. You spend time together doing structured activities, making crafts, visiting museums, taking boat rides, going to beaches, enjoying t-ball and soccer and swimming.
You plant a garden, and together you reap the harvest even though they little one is becoming a picky eater. Filtered water is the name of the game, and you buy expensive, refillable Camelbak filtered water bottles because kraken bottle crafts environment. The rash guard is short-sleeved now, and with the matching swim trunks, he looks amazing.
Plus, it saves on the organic sunscreen, which is becoming expensive and a fight to get on him. You read the entire Magic Tree House series together and practice math flash cards every day. You make homemade ice cream with your Cuisinart and lemonade with no artificial sweeteners.
You sit at the edge of the pool watching your little guy learn to paddle and swim underwater. He looks so adorable tanned in his rash guard and swim trunks. You work on math in the grocery store and with seashells in the sun. Day camp all summer but for a kraken bottle crafts of weeks you go on vacation to the beach. So is before and after care. Boys do these things, right? You find your summer drink of choice is no longer lemonade but gin and tonic. Child wears whatever shorts and t-shirts are clean.
By July 4, you know exactly how many days until school starts and have bought a new backpack and filled it with school supplies. Child refuses to bathe and only emerges for food of no nutritional value but lots of calories, powdered juice-like drinks and to demand game upgrades and faster wifi.
You no longer care what kind of water he drinks. You know exactly how many hours until school starts on kraken bottle crafts day after it closes. You dread knocks at the door because it means the swarm of smelly children is about to decimate your food supply, again.
You google summer sleep away camp and set up a vacation club account at the bank to save for it. Every damn day the sun sets and no one is dead is one day closer to the one when school opens.
Summer After Fourth Grade: Child becomes feral before the end of June. Bathing ceases completely, and you are relieved when he actually gets in kraken bottle crafts pool. You buy him a phone and GPS child tracking watch that receives texts to try to kraken bottle crafts track kraken bottle crafts where he is, but he loses both within a week and shows zero remorse. Consumption of food is now completely random and more about volume than anything remotely related to nutrition.
He drinks straight from faucets — sinks, hoses, leaking pipes, whatever. He is growing at an alarming rate yet insists upon wearing his favorite swim shorts from two years ago that you think kraken bottle crafts be cutting off circulation to parts he might care about at some later point in his life.
You call your mobile carrier twice a week to make sure you are on the unlimited data plan. You hit kraken bottle crafts angry icon on every blissful photo that your friends post of themselves with their perfect children on vacation on Kraken bottle crafts, even though you know, deep down, their kids have either been threatened or bribed into momentary submission. Looking for kraken bottle crafts things to do with your kids this summer? Check out Pinterest, or take a look at these:.
Please see Affiliate Disclaimer page for details. Plus, I spend a lot of time on WebMD. I poked at him with my foot a few minutes ago, and he felt warm, and one of his eyes opened briefly, so I suspect that this is a stunt to try to kraken bottle crafts me to go the kraken bottle crafts and buy some snacks.
Could someone please kraken bottle crafts him and his stuff up and revoke my mom license? I am clearly not cut out for this. Do I not merit a call or a visit from the truant police or a floral arrangement? I need more from you. I need support and a little empathy once in a while.
Drunk Chris treats me better than this. Or he used to. At least I have Fries and McFlurry. Please see Affiliate Dislcaimer page for details. Follow my blog with Bloglovin.
My child will be absent from school again today. I took him to Urgent Care on Saturday. Clorox is no match for his having coughed whatever pathogens are in him on every surface in here.
Only total decontamination will work. Much as I hate to admit defeat about anything, yesterday, the flu won again. It won against me this year, and flu won against Murph. Back in March, the flu won its fight against me. But Murph had announced one Friday night that he had a sore throat, and I said I did, too. He woke the next morning feeling fine, but I was dying with a kraken bottle crafts, chills, a horrible cough and a blinding headache.
It lasted nearly a month. But lately, insomnia has been our nemesis. Who even knew childhood insomnia is a thing? Kraken bottle crafts seemed well until about 10PM when he told me that he had a sore throat. A cold, I thought. He slept until 1: I told him to gargle with salt water, so he dumped an entire kraken bottle crafts of Morton salt into about 6 oz of water, took kraken bottle crafts sip, started screaming and gagging, dumped the concoction down the kraken bottle crafts and resumed his re-enactment of an operatic death from consumption that I was sure was going to wake the neighbors in surrounding states.
I closed my eyes and pretended I was asleep, all the while cursing the ovaries that had produced him, the viruses and germs I had not killed because I suck at housekeeping, the makers of Clorox and Lysol, the government for not providing nannies to all parents and the kraken bottle crafts for giving him a voice that carried so well.
I considered whether both of us could continue to exist in living human form if one of us did not STFU soon. I could have taken him to kraken bottle crafts ER. I just could kraken bottle crafts do it. And much as Murphy disagreed, a sore throat is not an emergency. She told me that Urgent Care opened at 10 and his regular doctor would be in the office on Sunday.
Could she not hear him howling in the background or did she think I was watching a horror movie or had a dying racoon in our yard? Wait another 27 hours? Thinking it was strep, I asked what I could do. She said to give him Tylenol. Was I trying to kill him? This is the big one! I went back to pretending that I was asleep and hoped my lack of compassion and sudden resentment was the result of having not kraken bottle crafts 8 hours total in a whole week let alone in a night.
His insomnia is kraken bottle crafts, too. I was too fried to be frazzled or even deal with the increasing drama, and we still had 3 flipping more hours before we could get to the doctor. I got up at 9, and we were second in line when Urgent Care opened.
The coughing started in the car, and I had an overwhelming sense of dread because strep does not cause coughing. I mean, for me. Because strep gets better after the first dose of meds. The flu, though, lingers. Suddenly, there was no end in sight. He was alternately obnoxious, rude, pathetic and combative with the nurses and doctor who declared that it was likely a flu virus and not strep.
He proceeded to wail and demand medicine. They gave him Zofran and Motrin. I begged for a cough medicine that might knock him out or kiddie Xanax.